I'm Okay, You're Okay

It’s amazing to me all the different parenting decisions.  There is stay-at-home and working, crib and family bed, formula and breast fed, cry or no cry, BabyWise and Attachment, baby wearing and not, demand feeding and scheduled feeding, spanking and not, public school and private school and homeschooling, vaccinating and not, disposable and cloth diapers, schedule and go-with-the-flow.  So many decisions that a parent has to make, all with just one goal in mind: doing what is best for your child.  I believe that since we are trying to do what is best for our child, we let our pride come in and say that our way is the only way.  But from just this small list, one can see that there are many different options for each family.

It’s interesting to me that we can say that each child is unique, but at the same time, believe that there is only one right way to parent.  It seems pretty clear that each decision that can be made, can be different for each child.  Why do we as parents find our way to be far superior than another’s way?  Why don’t we just see a differing view as what it is, someone choosing a different way than our own?  Research, schmesearch.  We are all doing it right, no matter when your kid sleeps through the night, how green you are, if you breastfeed once or for two years.  No one is setting out with the mindset of, “Let’s see if this way screws my kid up!”  Show a little love today for those parents are choosing a different path for their family and keep in mind that they love their kid as much as you love yours.

Desperate review

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

I’ve been looking forward to reading this book for a while, since I’ve read so many good things on blogs I read.  I didn’t love the start, but I’m glad that I pushed through.  I enjoyed reading this book.

To be honest, I didn’t love some of the writing from Sarah Mae at the beginning of the book.  She sounded negative and I just didn’t agree.  By the middle of the book, I could understand more of her message and by the end I was looking for more books by her!

This was my first Sally Clarkson book and will for sure not be the last.  I really liked her writing style and she seemed like an experienced, older woman that I would want to be friends with in real life.  She wrote some good truths.  I’m finding that books of this nature are just what I’m needing right now, figuring out life as a stay-at-home mom with a young child.  These women speak about things that go through my head but I can’t fully explain.  It’s always wonderful to not feel like you are the only one dealing with situations, thoughts, and struggles that you are going through.

In each chapter there was a note from Sarah to Sally and one back which was related to the chapter focus.  Sarah started the chapter with her words and Sally finished.  I felt like I was getting prepared for what I was about to read, told experience stories from Sarah and finished with wisdom and experience from Sally.  Great layout.

I recommend this book to moms of any age, especially new moms or ones with many children.

Nanny Dog

Ever since announcing that I was pregnant, people have asked about if I was worried about my dog and my baby.  You see, Libby is a pit bull mix, a misunderstood, but excellent, bully breed dog.  I will admit that before I became involved with the Twin Cities Pet Rescue, I had my reservations about pit bulls.  So much of what I had heard about them was from the news and mostly about dog fighting.  

What a beaut.

My reservations completely dissolved the day I met Libby.  My cousin brought her over to my house (sneaky lady, she is) and once we saw how great she was, told us that she needed to find a new foster family for her so they could get another one.  Ethan was totally in love with Libby, so it was decided, we would take her.  That decision is one of the best we have made.  Libby is such a happy lady, so social and loving.  

I will admit, Libby is the worst guard dog I’ve ever seen.  When someone comes in the door, she goes to greet them with a wiggly butt, a “smile” on her face, and an “I’m so freakin’ excited to see you!” attitude.  Most of the time she will also look around for something to bring to show off, something like a toy, a bone, or a stick.  She brings it so proudly.

Pit bulls used to be nicknamed the “Nanny dog” because they would keep children safe and look after them.  Libby has 100% lived up to this title.  We put Emmett on the floor in our living room (for tummy time, etc) and sometimes we will need to go to another room for something.  Don’t worry, Emmett can’t move too far yet.  When we come back into the room, Libby will be laying next to Emmett on the floor, moving from her comfy dog bed.  She lets Emmett (or other children) pet her, even if it isn’t too gentle.

"I'll look after Emmett, don't worry."

One of my favorite interactions that Libby has had with kids happened in the summer of 2011.  I brought her to one of Ethan’s softball games and there was a 6 year old girl who was very interested in her.  I hadn’t seen Libby with a lot of kids, so I was interested to see what would happen.  This little girl pulled Libby’s hair, tail, and ears.  She even lifted Libby’s upper lip over her nose.  Libby sat there and let this little girl do whatever she wanted, without so much as pulling her head away from the lip-over-the-nose trick.

Am I scared about having a pit bull with my baby?  Heck, no.  Libby is the best dog that Emmett can grow up with, and I can’t wait to see them be best friends.

Cleaning House review

Cleaning House: A Mom’s Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement

by Kay Wills Wyma

What an excellent book.  The family focused on one thing each month, such as hosting a party, learning to fix things around the house, and laundry.  Wyma found that her kids just expected everything to be done for them, clean clothes, toilet paper, buying a car.  She wanted to show them the behind the scenes of everyday living.  She had them grocery shop, cook a meal a week, make their bed, plan a party from start to finish, do big house projects, clean the bathroom, work together for a greater goal, serve others, and learn manners.

I appreciated reading this book now, when Emmett is just a baby, to prevent too much entitlement.  I will also read it again later on, to be reminded and for ideas to focus on.  Wyma told about her “enabling” of her kids, due a lot to her wanting things done right.  I think this happens a lot now days, except it’s usually because it is just quicker for mom to take care of things than it takes to teach the skills.  In our fast-paced world, it’s probably true, but this doesn’t help our children later on in their life.  Mom won’t always be there to pick up toilet paper and do housework for her kids.  

I’m really hoping that I will take the time to teach Emmett (and any other children we have) early on, even though it will take more time and won’t be done just exactly how I like it.  

From the manners chapter, three “rules” in dealing with people:

1. Address adults by name and look them in the eye.  “Hi, Mrs. Someone...”
2. Thank people by name.  “Thanks for the help, Lucy.”
3. Answer a question with a question.  “I’m well, how are you doing?”

3 points I especially liked:

Future spouses will most certainly thank us for equipping their husbands and wives in practical living skills.

Culture doesn't determine who people become.  People determine what the culture will be.  Might our equipped, empowered, unentitled kids be the ones who set the course for the future.

Do I love them enough to step aside rather than step in?