No Need to Rush

I read once about a mom who was bringing up her last baby.  She wanted to savor everything and not rush the milestones along.

I want to savor everything with Emmett, because if we have more children, I will not have the time to.

I don’t feel that Emmett needs to achieve all the milestones ahead of every other baby around.  He will reach them at some point.  How many adults do you see (who don’t have a disability) that are just army crawling around everywhere?  I would like for this baby stage to last awhile, as when it is past, I don’t get it again with Emmett.  So I just give Emmett tummy time (which he really seems to enjoy) without the pressure of needing to roll over by 4 months or start crawling by 6 months.

Emmett rolled over for the first time at just over 5 months.  His top half went to the side, where it stayed for about a minute while he was jabbering, then his bottom half went over.  He looked mildly surprised and slightly amused that he was now looking at the ceiling fan.  I did the mom-cheerleader thing and clapped for him and said “Good job, Buddy!”  Then we went on playing.  It took him another week to do it again.  I didn’t mind at all.

Sometimes when I’m talking to others, I get caught up in the competition of “my kid is better than your kid.”  Then I think about how I am approaching Emmett’s growing up.  Good for your child that he rolled over at 3 1/2 months.  Reaching these milestones doesn’t have to be a reflection on what kind of parent I am.  Some kids roll over out of frustration at 2 months because they hate tummy time, while Emmett was chilling during tummy time for 20 minutes while he was 5 months old!  He just seemed to enjoy looking around from that view, content to be able to see things other than the ceiling!  Really, how can that reflect who I am as his parent?

I do brag about what a great night-sleeper Emmett is, as I was so excited to get to sleep through the night so quickly after having him.  He was sleeping 11 hours per night at 2 months, 12 hours per night at 3 months.  He’s great.

Sometimes people who have worked for kids to sleep through the night or go through other milestones quickly have opinions that they feel they must share.  I was talking with an extended family member and he asked how sleeping was going.  I said 12 hours a night!  He thought I was joking, as his one-year-old still wasn’t sleeping through the night.  We might have talked about letting them cry a little bit overnight, but I realized something.  The way others want to parent is the way they want to parent, the way they chose to parent.  They don’t need someone coming in to tell them how to do it, just as I don't need it.  What is right for me is not always right for others.

Sometimes people will ask for advice or wonder how it happened for us, that is the time it is appropriate to talk about it.  Unsolicited advice can sometimes come across as “You don’t know what you’re doing, so let me tell you how to do it right.”  That is not helpful for a parent.  There are already doubts going on in their head (especially when the milestone isn’t happening at the “right” time), they don’t need someone coming in to confirm it.

Show confidence in others by leaving your thoughts in your head, instead of coming across as that person who is a “know-it-all” but no one wants to be around.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”  I'm really trying to savor the time I have while Emmett is just a little baby, as I know that all too soon he will be grown up and I won't get these times back.

Live in the moment, capture some of them on camera!