One year!!

Emmett turns one year old today.

One year ago today, my life was filled with more happiness than I have ever felt.  When my baby was thrown up onto my chest, I became a mom, something I wanted for quite some time.  I went from saying funny things while I was in labor, such as “Why would anyone put themselves through this twice??!” to the happiest Ethan has ever seen me.  For the record, it took 2 minutes for me to say that I would totally do it again.  Apparently mom-nesia set in quick for me!  The next few hours were filled with holding Emmett and smiling so much that I thought I would not be able to have other facial expressions.  I understand when people say that the day their child was born was the best day of their life.  The extreme joy I felt is enough for me to say the same thing.

My little thumb sucker

While “time flies” feels correct, it also doesn’t.  I’ve watched Emmett go from a small, stationary, needy 7 pounder to a big, mobile, needy 23 pounder.  I’ve seen him lift his head up higher and higher, smile, move around on his belly, pet Libby, “read” books, chew on toys, suck his thumb, go up on all 4s, sit up by himself, make first sounds, laugh at Ethan tickling him, crawl, pull to stand, “talk”, take first steps, watched how his little brain is developing different skills.  I’ve gotten to enjoy this whole first year at home, with him almost every hour he’s been awake.  I’ve put Emmett down for almost every nap and almost every bedtime.

I’ve had times, usually just in ordinary moments, where I just stare at Emmett and am overwhelmed by how much love I have for him.  One of my friends was talking about how we aren't even adopted into God's family, but God wanted us and made us...I could only think about my desire to be a mom and the years I waited for it.  How I now have this beautiful son who I wanted for so long, who now says "Mama" and holds out his arms to me.  How we have this relationship with Abba Father.  How often I only have "Abba, Father, I love you, Daddy" to say.  The pure love that comes from a baby, with no language to express himself, just "Mama" and his beautiful smile.  Holy crap.  Sometimes it feels too much to handle.

I will not say that I have enjoyed every moment, as babies can’t fully communicate (in english) what they want and I don’t always have an answer for those weird times.  At the end of every day, though, I have been so thankful that I got to be with and experience it all with him.  I’m so thankful that God takes care of us financially so that my staying home with Emmett is possible.  Thankful to Ethan for being such a great man to work for us, a great husband who is so patient with me and shows love every day, a great father who our son adores and wants to be around.  Thankful for the wonderful, happy son who loves his Mama so much.

I’m so looking forward to continuing watching Emmett grow up, to learn new things, to have new experiences.  This past year has been the best year of my life, and I can only see things getting better.

He does <3 hugs.

Oh!

 

"I'm happiest when I'm with my mom."

No Need to Rush

I read once about a mom who was bringing up her last baby.  She wanted to savor everything and not rush the milestones along.

I want to savor everything with Emmett, because if we have more children, I will not have the time to.

I don’t feel that Emmett needs to achieve all the milestones ahead of every other baby around.  He will reach them at some point.  How many adults do you see (who don’t have a disability) that are just army crawling around everywhere?  I would like for this baby stage to last awhile, as when it is past, I don’t get it again with Emmett.  So I just give Emmett tummy time (which he really seems to enjoy) without the pressure of needing to roll over by 4 months or start crawling by 6 months.

Emmett rolled over for the first time at just over 5 months.  His top half went to the side, where it stayed for about a minute while he was jabbering, then his bottom half went over.  He looked mildly surprised and slightly amused that he was now looking at the ceiling fan.  I did the mom-cheerleader thing and clapped for him and said “Good job, Buddy!”  Then we went on playing.  It took him another week to do it again.  I didn’t mind at all.

Sometimes when I’m talking to others, I get caught up in the competition of “my kid is better than your kid.”  Then I think about how I am approaching Emmett’s growing up.  Good for your child that he rolled over at 3 1/2 months.  Reaching these milestones doesn’t have to be a reflection on what kind of parent I am.  Some kids roll over out of frustration at 2 months because they hate tummy time, while Emmett was chilling during tummy time for 20 minutes while he was 5 months old!  He just seemed to enjoy looking around from that view, content to be able to see things other than the ceiling!  Really, how can that reflect who I am as his parent?

I do brag about what a great night-sleeper Emmett is, as I was so excited to get to sleep through the night so quickly after having him.  He was sleeping 11 hours per night at 2 months, 12 hours per night at 3 months.  He’s great.

Sometimes people who have worked for kids to sleep through the night or go through other milestones quickly have opinions that they feel they must share.  I was talking with an extended family member and he asked how sleeping was going.  I said 12 hours a night!  He thought I was joking, as his one-year-old still wasn’t sleeping through the night.  We might have talked about letting them cry a little bit overnight, but I realized something.  The way others want to parent is the way they want to parent, the way they chose to parent.  They don’t need someone coming in to tell them how to do it, just as I don't need it.  What is right for me is not always right for others.

Sometimes people will ask for advice or wonder how it happened for us, that is the time it is appropriate to talk about it.  Unsolicited advice can sometimes come across as “You don’t know what you’re doing, so let me tell you how to do it right.”  That is not helpful for a parent.  There are already doubts going on in their head (especially when the milestone isn’t happening at the “right” time), they don’t need someone coming in to confirm it.

Show confidence in others by leaving your thoughts in your head, instead of coming across as that person who is a “know-it-all” but no one wants to be around.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”  I'm really trying to savor the time I have while Emmett is just a little baby, as I know that all too soon he will be grown up and I won't get these times back.

Live in the moment, capture some of them on camera!

Favorite Nap Book

The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program-Follow Your Child’s Natural Sleep Rhythms for Better Nights and Naps

by Polly Moore, Ph.D.

Emmett has been a nighttime sleep champ since just a couple weeks old, and sleeping 12 hours/night since just before 3 months old.  His napping story has been very different.  There were times when his nap would only be 45 minutes and there would be times when his nap would be 3 hours!  I was getting frustrated with the lack of rhythm and predictability of his naps.  For a time, his naps would last for 45 minutes and he would wake up crying, pretty hard.  I knew this meant that he did not sleep long enough, but he wasn't falling back asleep either.  I knew I needed to do something different to get his nap-sleep rhythms regular.  I tried keeping him awake for longer periods, shorter periods, waiting for sleepy signs...uff da.

This book is based on the biological rhythm called the basic rest and activity cycle (BRAC) that lasts about 90 minutes.   So in between naps, the awake time should be about 90 minutes.  Once knowing this, we began trying to follow it.  It was interesting to observe Emmett, that when it was about 75 minutes, he started showing signs of being tired.  By 90 minutes, and with just a little soothing, he would fall asleep in his crib in less than a minute.  He also napped for longer periods of time!

Deep slumber during a nap

The plan is pretty simple (page 38):

N: Note the time of your baby’s last waking.

A: Add 90 minutes.

P: Play, feed, and pursue other activities with your baby.

S: Soothe your baby to sleep.

It’s so simple.  I’m somewhat of a nerd, so being able to track Emmett’s behavior and sleep patterns is kind of fun for me!  The book also has a lot of information on why sleep is important for the brain and sleep research.

I recommend this book for all mothers/fathers/caregivers.  It puts into perspective how and why babies sleep so much in the first year.  The book is geared toward babies 2 weeks to 1 year old.  I wish I had found this book earlier, it has been so helpful.

My necessities for the baby

There are so many things that a new mom can get, which is sometimes overwhelming and for sure cluttering.  Here's my list for things that I actually used in the first few months.  

Crib

(Somewhere to sleep.  I chose to start Emmett in the crib right away, so I could sleep without hearing all the noises babies make.  It was a bit of a battle, but very worthwhile to me.)

Crib sheets

(A couple, as babies can pee a lot, spit up, or poop while they're in the crib)

Pack-n-play

(If you will be traveling or your baby will be sleeping elsewhere, this is so helpful, especially when baby starts being more mobile.  Emmett slept on beds elsewhere sometimes, but can no longer, as he's now a mover!)

Sleep Sacks 

(For swaddling newborn-I used these for the first month or so, but so helpful!  The swaddling helped so baby didn't smack himself with his flailing arms and wake himself up.)

Onesies 

(white and fun ones)

Sleepers 

(and other footies for the daytime and warmer nights-Emmett wears these the most out of all his clothing options, it’s nice to have his feet covered and he kicks off socks so often)

Diapers/wipes

(We used disposables for the first bit, now we use pocket and all-in-one cloth diapers during the day and a good disposable for over night--12 hours of sleep makes for a super wet diaper!)

Diaper bag

(gotta have some type of bag for extra diapers and clothing changes for blowouts and toys and other things needed to carry around)

Car seat

(can’t leave the hospital without this one!  I like that ours goes up to 30 pounds, as Emmett was 18.5lbs at 6 months...)

Swing/bouncer

(great for when arms get tired or doing something that needs 2 hands, some kids don’t love these things, but Emmett did fine in them)

"Look at these cool TOYS, mom!"

Stroller

(Not totally a necessity I guess, but I liked having it for walks or going somewhere that I didn't want to be carrying the car seat or baby the whole time.)

Carrier

(Nice for going out when you don’t want to put the baby in the stroller while out or getting stuff done around the house)

Changing table

(or just a clean area for diaper changes.  We have Libby, so I preferred an actual table.)

Baby bathtub

(Keeps baby in one place and uses less water than the whole tub.  Babies don't need to bathe that often, so you could just hold baby in the sink or something too.)

Blanket

(for obvious reasons and uses-and for tummy time, as floors can be hard/dirty)

Burp rags

(Emmett was a spit-up-er, so these were needed to keep clothes somewhat clean)

Bottle

(Sometimes mom needs to leave the house or sleep, someone else can give baby a bottle.  We were advised not to give a bottle or pacifier before 1 month, to establish breast-feeding.)

Minimal amount of toys

(Emmett didn’t seem all that interested in toys until around 3-4 months, and especially when his gums started getting primed for teeth.  He doesn’t need a ton of options right now, as he doesn’t get bored with toys yet.)

Books

(Always good to read to a baby, helps with later education and building the brain.)

Things that I didn't have or didn't use:

Wipe warmer

(his little bottom got used to being wiped with a room temperature wipe real quickly)

Boppy pillow

(I thought that I was going to use this a lot, but found I didn't need it at all.  We sometimes use it while Emmett is awake, but less than 10 times in 6 months.)

The surplus of toys

(Everything is new to a baby, so the toys are a bit unnecessary.  We have a few, but didn't need a ton.)

Privacy cover for feeding

(A blanket worked fine, most of the time I didn't want to cover his face.)

All the cute newborn outfits

(Let's be real, I had Emmett in footies and sleepers unless we went somewhere.  It was just easier, since he woke up if a sock came off, and he was sleeping so much!)

Play mat

(Emmett is super content on a blanket, so the play mat didn't get used much.)

Bumbo chair

(I liked holding Emmett in a sitting position or having him on the floor for tummy time.  We now have borrowed one from a friend and Emmett's thighs are too big!  No biggie, as he's learning to sit up on his own now.)