One year!!

Emmett turns one year old today.

One year ago today, my life was filled with more happiness than I have ever felt.  When my baby was thrown up onto my chest, I became a mom, something I wanted for quite some time.  I went from saying funny things while I was in labor, such as “Why would anyone put themselves through this twice??!” to the happiest Ethan has ever seen me.  For the record, it took 2 minutes for me to say that I would totally do it again.  Apparently mom-nesia set in quick for me!  The next few hours were filled with holding Emmett and smiling so much that I thought I would not be able to have other facial expressions.  I understand when people say that the day their child was born was the best day of their life.  The extreme joy I felt is enough for me to say the same thing.

My little thumb sucker

While “time flies” feels correct, it also doesn’t.  I’ve watched Emmett go from a small, stationary, needy 7 pounder to a big, mobile, needy 23 pounder.  I’ve seen him lift his head up higher and higher, smile, move around on his belly, pet Libby, “read” books, chew on toys, suck his thumb, go up on all 4s, sit up by himself, make first sounds, laugh at Ethan tickling him, crawl, pull to stand, “talk”, take first steps, watched how his little brain is developing different skills.  I’ve gotten to enjoy this whole first year at home, with him almost every hour he’s been awake.  I’ve put Emmett down for almost every nap and almost every bedtime.

I’ve had times, usually just in ordinary moments, where I just stare at Emmett and am overwhelmed by how much love I have for him.  One of my friends was talking about how we aren't even adopted into God's family, but God wanted us and made us...I could only think about my desire to be a mom and the years I waited for it.  How I now have this beautiful son who I wanted for so long, who now says "Mama" and holds out his arms to me.  How we have this relationship with Abba Father.  How often I only have "Abba, Father, I love you, Daddy" to say.  The pure love that comes from a baby, with no language to express himself, just "Mama" and his beautiful smile.  Holy crap.  Sometimes it feels too much to handle.

I will not say that I have enjoyed every moment, as babies can’t fully communicate (in english) what they want and I don’t always have an answer for those weird times.  At the end of every day, though, I have been so thankful that I got to be with and experience it all with him.  I’m so thankful that God takes care of us financially so that my staying home with Emmett is possible.  Thankful to Ethan for being such a great man to work for us, a great husband who is so patient with me and shows love every day, a great father who our son adores and wants to be around.  Thankful for the wonderful, happy son who loves his Mama so much.

I’m so looking forward to continuing watching Emmett grow up, to learn new things, to have new experiences.  This past year has been the best year of my life, and I can only see things getting better.

He does <3 hugs.

Oh!

 

"I'm happiest when I'm with my mom."

I'm Okay, You're Okay

It’s amazing to me all the different parenting decisions.  There is stay-at-home and working, crib and family bed, formula and breast fed, cry or no cry, BabyWise and Attachment, baby wearing and not, demand feeding and scheduled feeding, spanking and not, public school and private school and homeschooling, vaccinating and not, disposable and cloth diapers, schedule and go-with-the-flow.  So many decisions that a parent has to make, all with just one goal in mind: doing what is best for your child.  I believe that since we are trying to do what is best for our child, we let our pride come in and say that our way is the only way.  But from just this small list, one can see that there are many different options for each family.

It’s interesting to me that we can say that each child is unique, but at the same time, believe that there is only one right way to parent.  It seems pretty clear that each decision that can be made, can be different for each child.  Why do we as parents find our way to be far superior than another’s way?  Why don’t we just see a differing view as what it is, someone choosing a different way than our own?  Research, schmesearch.  We are all doing it right, no matter when your kid sleeps through the night, how green you are, if you breastfeed once or for two years.  No one is setting out with the mindset of, “Let’s see if this way screws my kid up!”  Show a little love today for those parents are choosing a different path for their family and keep in mind that they love their kid as much as you love yours.

Desperate review

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

I’ve been looking forward to reading this book for a while, since I’ve read so many good things on blogs I read.  I didn’t love the start, but I’m glad that I pushed through.  I enjoyed reading this book.

To be honest, I didn’t love some of the writing from Sarah Mae at the beginning of the book.  She sounded negative and I just didn’t agree.  By the middle of the book, I could understand more of her message and by the end I was looking for more books by her!

This was my first Sally Clarkson book and will for sure not be the last.  I really liked her writing style and she seemed like an experienced, older woman that I would want to be friends with in real life.  She wrote some good truths.  I’m finding that books of this nature are just what I’m needing right now, figuring out life as a stay-at-home mom with a young child.  These women speak about things that go through my head but I can’t fully explain.  It’s always wonderful to not feel like you are the only one dealing with situations, thoughts, and struggles that you are going through.

In each chapter there was a note from Sarah to Sally and one back which was related to the chapter focus.  Sarah started the chapter with her words and Sally finished.  I felt like I was getting prepared for what I was about to read, told experience stories from Sarah and finished with wisdom and experience from Sally.  Great layout.

I recommend this book to moms of any age, especially new moms or ones with many children.

Nanny Dog

Ever since announcing that I was pregnant, people have asked about if I was worried about my dog and my baby.  You see, Libby is a pit bull mix, a misunderstood, but excellent, bully breed dog.  I will admit that before I became involved with the Twin Cities Pet Rescue, I had my reservations about pit bulls.  So much of what I had heard about them was from the news and mostly about dog fighting.  

What a beaut.

My reservations completely dissolved the day I met Libby.  My cousin brought her over to my house (sneaky lady, she is) and once we saw how great she was, told us that she needed to find a new foster family for her so they could get another one.  Ethan was totally in love with Libby, so it was decided, we would take her.  That decision is one of the best we have made.  Libby is such a happy lady, so social and loving.  

I will admit, Libby is the worst guard dog I’ve ever seen.  When someone comes in the door, she goes to greet them with a wiggly butt, a “smile” on her face, and an “I’m so freakin’ excited to see you!” attitude.  Most of the time she will also look around for something to bring to show off, something like a toy, a bone, or a stick.  She brings it so proudly.

Pit bulls used to be nicknamed the “Nanny dog” because they would keep children safe and look after them.  Libby has 100% lived up to this title.  We put Emmett on the floor in our living room (for tummy time, etc) and sometimes we will need to go to another room for something.  Don’t worry, Emmett can’t move too far yet.  When we come back into the room, Libby will be laying next to Emmett on the floor, moving from her comfy dog bed.  She lets Emmett (or other children) pet her, even if it isn’t too gentle.

"I'll look after Emmett, don't worry."

One of my favorite interactions that Libby has had with kids happened in the summer of 2011.  I brought her to one of Ethan’s softball games and there was a 6 year old girl who was very interested in her.  I hadn’t seen Libby with a lot of kids, so I was interested to see what would happen.  This little girl pulled Libby’s hair, tail, and ears.  She even lifted Libby’s upper lip over her nose.  Libby sat there and let this little girl do whatever she wanted, without so much as pulling her head away from the lip-over-the-nose trick.

Am I scared about having a pit bull with my baby?  Heck, no.  Libby is the best dog that Emmett can grow up with, and I can’t wait to see them be best friends.

Cleaning House review

Cleaning House: A Mom’s Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement

by Kay Wills Wyma

What an excellent book.  The family focused on one thing each month, such as hosting a party, learning to fix things around the house, and laundry.  Wyma found that her kids just expected everything to be done for them, clean clothes, toilet paper, buying a car.  She wanted to show them the behind the scenes of everyday living.  She had them grocery shop, cook a meal a week, make their bed, plan a party from start to finish, do big house projects, clean the bathroom, work together for a greater goal, serve others, and learn manners.

I appreciated reading this book now, when Emmett is just a baby, to prevent too much entitlement.  I will also read it again later on, to be reminded and for ideas to focus on.  Wyma told about her “enabling” of her kids, due a lot to her wanting things done right.  I think this happens a lot now days, except it’s usually because it is just quicker for mom to take care of things than it takes to teach the skills.  In our fast-paced world, it’s probably true, but this doesn’t help our children later on in their life.  Mom won’t always be there to pick up toilet paper and do housework for her kids.  

I’m really hoping that I will take the time to teach Emmett (and any other children we have) early on, even though it will take more time and won’t be done just exactly how I like it.  

From the manners chapter, three “rules” in dealing with people:

1. Address adults by name and look them in the eye.  “Hi, Mrs. Someone...”
2. Thank people by name.  “Thanks for the help, Lucy.”
3. Answer a question with a question.  “I’m well, how are you doing?”

3 points I especially liked:

Future spouses will most certainly thank us for equipping their husbands and wives in practical living skills.

Culture doesn't determine who people become.  People determine what the culture will be.  Might our equipped, empowered, unentitled kids be the ones who set the course for the future.

Do I love them enough to step aside rather than step in?

Ways to Save Money When Grocery Shopping

1. Eat before you go.  Every food product looks good when you are hungry, especially those totally bad-for-you-and-won’t-fill-you-up-anyway foods.
2. Plan what meals you will be making for the next week or two.  Brilliant.  Once I know what meals I am planning to make, I can move on to the next way...
3. Write out a list of items that you want.  This list makes for no aimless wondering in the aisles.  Get in, get what you need, and get out!
4. I like to leave room for one item that was not on my list.  I call it my list+1.  That way, I can stick to my list, but have something that I may not have planned for.  Sometimes this means cookies, sometimes it means tortillas.
5. Bring a calculator to see what is the best price.  Sometimes more doesn’t make for a better deal.  I calculate what the price should be for different quantities.  Some stores have the price per unit marked on the pricetag, which is super helpful.
6. I start out my grocery shopping trip at Aldi.  I get as much as I can get on my list there and then go to Target for anything else I need.  I did a price comparison (yes, I’m somewhat of a nerd) and I paid 1/3 less at Aldi than I would have for the same items (different brands sometimes) at another store.
7. Since I really am a pretty big nerd, I wrote down prices per unit of items from Aldi and Target and kept the list in my purse.  Then when I was at a different store, I always knew what my best price was for an item.

Other ideas that work for some as well:

1. Use a cash budgeting system, like the Dave Ramsey way.  I don’t love to have to go get cash and I’m pretty stingy with my spending, so I just use my debit card.
2. Sticking to the outsides of stores.  A lot of grocery stores are set up that the refrigerated items (like milk) are in the way back so that you will hopefully walk through the rest of the store and grab something on impulse.
3. Sometimes the big bulk stores (like Sam’s Club and Costco) have better deals.  I don’t have a membership, so I can’t say that for sure.

Always Tell What You Can

I had an easy pregnancy.  I felt tired, very slightly nauseous, gained weight, felt movement, went to the bathroom a lot, got huge, it was pretty great.  

I had a couple of the signs of preeclampsia, including high blood pressure, headaches, swelling, and some significant sudden weight gain.  I did not have protein in my urine, so the midwife would tell me to take it easy and put my feet up more.  Each time my blood pressure was elevated, she would ask me, “Do you have any pain under your ribs on your right side?”  Each time I answered no.  I did have an uncomfortable feeling under my ribs, but I thought that it was the baby’s butt pushing up.  It was uncomfortable, but not what I would call painful.  At different times, I thought it was weird that I was having this feeling and he was sideways in my belly.  For some reason, it wasn’t concerning enough to me.

I had this same feeling when I was pushing during labor, again I thought it was his butt or feet or something.  My midwife knew different though.  Later when we were talking about my baby’s birth, she told me that when she saw me push on that spot, that she knew we had to get the baby out, and fast.  

Apparently “pain” is subjective, but this uncomfortable feeling was a significant symptom that wasn’t dealt with because I didn’t know what the butt on the ribs felt like! I always brought a list of questions/concerns to my appointments, but I never brought this one up.  It was on there a few times, sometimes the area felt like a soft spot and sometimes it felt like there was a rock in there!

Moral of this story?  Tell your midwife/doctor about anything you think is weird or uncomfortable.  It might be something serious or it might be nothing at all, but your midwife/doctor cannot do anything about it if they don’t know what’s going on.

Bringing Up Bèbè review

Bringing Up Bèbè: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

by Pamela Druckerman

First off, I loved this book.

Excellent book about an American mother observing and researching French parenting while living in Paris.  It is interesting to me to learn about other cultures and of course, I love reading anything about parenting.  The French have babies that sleep through the night by three months, eat all kinds of foods, are polite to people and respectful of their parents.  I found myself agreeing with most all of what the French do in their parenting and the reasoning behind it.

One of the first things I loved in the book was what the author calls “The Pause.”  Instead of rushing to baby when the baby cries, the French listen to determine what the cry is for.  During sleep, this means giving baby some time to learn how to transition between sleep cycles.  During non-sleep times, French parents watch and observe why the baby might be crying-hunger, dirty diaper, needs a cuddle.  I did this with Emmett pretty early on and I think that it is the reason that he cried very little the first night I didn’t go into his room overnight, he just needed a few more minutes to fall back asleep.

The French view this as the beginning of teaching their child patience in waiting.  They view waiting as a cornerstone of raising kids.  Waiting can be frustrating as a kid, but it is a very important skill to teach them.  We should not mistake this frustration as bad parenting, but as a stepping stone to building happier, more resilient people.  Caroline Thompson, a family psychologist in Paris, says, “If the parent can’t stand the fact of being hated, then he won’t frustrate the child, and then the child will be in a situation where he will be the object of his own tyranny, where basically he has to deal with his own greed and his own need for things.  If the parent isn’t there to stop him, then he’s the one who’s going to have to stop himself or not stop himself, and that’s much more anxiety-provoking” (pages 74-75).

The philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau said, “Do you know the surest means of making your child miserable?  It is to accustom him to getting everything.  Since his desires grow constantly due to the ease of satisfying them, sooner or later powerlessness will force you, in spite of yourself, to end up with a refusal.  And this unaccustomed refusal will give him more torment than being deprived of what he desires” (page 84).

The book often mentions the French cadre--or frame--for the French model of parenting.  This basically means that the parents are very strict about certain things but within those limits are very relaxed, a firm frame surrounding a lot of freedom.

The French don’t dole out praise about everything the way Americans do.  I totally believe that positive reinforcement works in behavior modification, but I think we take it to an extreme.  What used to be called the “loser bracket” in a tournament is now called the “friendship bracket” as someone thought that kids would feel bad about having lost, therefore going to the “loser” bracket.  Kids get ribbons and trophies just for participating.  Even one of the 10-year-old girls that I coached last summer said something to the effect of, “Why are we getting a trophy, we didn’t even win one game.”  

French parents don’t feel the need to give praise for every picture drawn, every bite eaten, every word spoken, every right answer.  The author concedes, “I’m starting to suspect that French parents may be right in giving less praise.  Perhaps they realize that those little zaps of pleasure kids get each time a grown-up says ‘good job’could--if they arrive too often--simply make kids addicted to positive feedback.  after a while, they’ll need someone else’s approval to feel good about themselves.  And if kids are assured of praise for whatever they do, then they won’t need to try very hard.  They’ll be praised anyway” (page 254).

This is a book I would recommend for anyone to read, especially those who deal with babies and children.

Sippy Cups book review

Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom

by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

This book is kind of a blog with binding.  It is a collection of short essays, just a few pages, and is not a parenting book.  She is a little crass at times, but it was a fun read.  My favorite part came about halfway through:

“It’s true what the books say.  All babies are on their own time lines.  Maybe your one-year-old isn’t thinking about walking because he’s figuring out difficult mathematical equations in his little head.  Maybe your baby walks at nine months but won’t utter a word until she’s six.

“It’s not a race.  If your baby is an early walker, it means that you have to childproof faster.  If they’re talking early, it means listening to an extra six months of gibberish.  Enjoy the quiet while you still can” (page106).

I think babies grow up too fast anyway, no need to push them.  This book is a good read for people who like reading biographies and memoirs or need a break from the how-to books.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child review

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

by Marc Weissbluth

I used this in addition to BabyWise and it complemented pretty well.  It didn’t talk about feeding times, but it gave me helpful information about sleeping.  It has been handy as Emmett gets older and different questions come up.

This book talks a lot about early bedtimes.  I agree and have found this to be true.  Emmett sleeps 12 hours because he is able to go to bed at 8pm.  

A quote from the book is “Sleep begets sleep.”  I thought that sounded a little off, but I have noticed that when Emmett has a good night of sleeping and a good morning nap, his afternoon and evening naps are pretty great as well.  He sleeps between 15-17 hours in a 24 hour period.  

I liked this book a lot, but it didn't talk much about feeding times like BabyWise did.  I enjoyed having more of a schedule to keep things a little predictable for me.  I also like that it shows what might be happening with sleep at different ages.  I can look ahead to the next stage and see when about it will take place.  Good book, keep a copy close by.

No Need to Rush

I read once about a mom who was bringing up her last baby.  She wanted to savor everything and not rush the milestones along.

I want to savor everything with Emmett, because if we have more children, I will not have the time to.

I don’t feel that Emmett needs to achieve all the milestones ahead of every other baby around.  He will reach them at some point.  How many adults do you see (who don’t have a disability) that are just army crawling around everywhere?  I would like for this baby stage to last awhile, as when it is past, I don’t get it again with Emmett.  So I just give Emmett tummy time (which he really seems to enjoy) without the pressure of needing to roll over by 4 months or start crawling by 6 months.

Emmett rolled over for the first time at just over 5 months.  His top half went to the side, where it stayed for about a minute while he was jabbering, then his bottom half went over.  He looked mildly surprised and slightly amused that he was now looking at the ceiling fan.  I did the mom-cheerleader thing and clapped for him and said “Good job, Buddy!”  Then we went on playing.  It took him another week to do it again.  I didn’t mind at all.

Sometimes when I’m talking to others, I get caught up in the competition of “my kid is better than your kid.”  Then I think about how I am approaching Emmett’s growing up.  Good for your child that he rolled over at 3 1/2 months.  Reaching these milestones doesn’t have to be a reflection on what kind of parent I am.  Some kids roll over out of frustration at 2 months because they hate tummy time, while Emmett was chilling during tummy time for 20 minutes while he was 5 months old!  He just seemed to enjoy looking around from that view, content to be able to see things other than the ceiling!  Really, how can that reflect who I am as his parent?

I do brag about what a great night-sleeper Emmett is, as I was so excited to get to sleep through the night so quickly after having him.  He was sleeping 11 hours per night at 2 months, 12 hours per night at 3 months.  He’s great.

Sometimes people who have worked for kids to sleep through the night or go through other milestones quickly have opinions that they feel they must share.  I was talking with an extended family member and he asked how sleeping was going.  I said 12 hours a night!  He thought I was joking, as his one-year-old still wasn’t sleeping through the night.  We might have talked about letting them cry a little bit overnight, but I realized something.  The way others want to parent is the way they want to parent, the way they chose to parent.  They don’t need someone coming in to tell them how to do it, just as I don't need it.  What is right for me is not always right for others.

Sometimes people will ask for advice or wonder how it happened for us, that is the time it is appropriate to talk about it.  Unsolicited advice can sometimes come across as “You don’t know what you’re doing, so let me tell you how to do it right.”  That is not helpful for a parent.  There are already doubts going on in their head (especially when the milestone isn’t happening at the “right” time), they don’t need someone coming in to confirm it.

Show confidence in others by leaving your thoughts in your head, instead of coming across as that person who is a “know-it-all” but no one wants to be around.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”  I'm really trying to savor the time I have while Emmett is just a little baby, as I know that all too soon he will be grown up and I won't get these times back.

Live in the moment, capture some of them on camera!

I Was A Really Good Mom Review

I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids

by Trisha Ashworth

This book is nothing like I thought it would be.  I thought it was going to be about how women without kids judge women with kids until they have their own, when everything they once judged becomes their norm.

Instead, I’ve found wisdom in what I have been thinking and feeling.  Sometimes I feel like I have certain expectations to live up to.  Turns out, other moms have felt these high expectations.  What a relief!

As I read this book, I got more and more confidence that I am doing a good job being a mom.  I'm not the only one who stresses out because I'm stressing out over the baby.  Many of the experiences I was having as a new mom, someone had gone before me and felt the same way I did through it.  The smiles and giggles from my Emmett increase that confidence as well.

I will also say that since reading this book, either Emmett has gotten easier (let's be serious, he's super easy, so it must not be that he has gotten easier) or I have found myself less stressed out about things that used to bother me.  I give myself freedom to not get stressed out, to take a breath when I need to.

I encourage women who are not moms yet to read this so they can set reasonable expectations and see what may happen later on to be prepared.  I also encourage moms at any stage to read this and find out that you are, in fact, normal.  What a freeing book.

Favorite Nap Book

The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program-Follow Your Child’s Natural Sleep Rhythms for Better Nights and Naps

by Polly Moore, Ph.D.

Emmett has been a nighttime sleep champ since just a couple weeks old, and sleeping 12 hours/night since just before 3 months old.  His napping story has been very different.  There were times when his nap would only be 45 minutes and there would be times when his nap would be 3 hours!  I was getting frustrated with the lack of rhythm and predictability of his naps.  For a time, his naps would last for 45 minutes and he would wake up crying, pretty hard.  I knew this meant that he did not sleep long enough, but he wasn't falling back asleep either.  I knew I needed to do something different to get his nap-sleep rhythms regular.  I tried keeping him awake for longer periods, shorter periods, waiting for sleepy signs...uff da.

This book is based on the biological rhythm called the basic rest and activity cycle (BRAC) that lasts about 90 minutes.   So in between naps, the awake time should be about 90 minutes.  Once knowing this, we began trying to follow it.  It was interesting to observe Emmett, that when it was about 75 minutes, he started showing signs of being tired.  By 90 minutes, and with just a little soothing, he would fall asleep in his crib in less than a minute.  He also napped for longer periods of time!

Deep slumber during a nap

The plan is pretty simple (page 38):

N: Note the time of your baby’s last waking.

A: Add 90 minutes.

P: Play, feed, and pursue other activities with your baby.

S: Soothe your baby to sleep.

It’s so simple.  I’m somewhat of a nerd, so being able to track Emmett’s behavior and sleep patterns is kind of fun for me!  The book also has a lot of information on why sleep is important for the brain and sleep research.

I recommend this book for all mothers/fathers/caregivers.  It puts into perspective how and why babies sleep so much in the first year.  The book is geared toward babies 2 weeks to 1 year old.  I wish I had found this book earlier, it has been so helpful.

Yummy Granola Bars I made!

I really like granola bars for a quick snack or a take-along-in-case-I-get-hungry snack.  Even though I buy mine at Aldi and it doesn’t seem like they are that bad for me, I’ve been looking for a recipe for a more “natural” granola bar that is cheap to make.  

Many times I am intimidated by fancy recipes that have 17 steps and ingredients that I have never heard of.  That said, I haven’t tried to make any of the recipes I have seen.  When I saw the recipe for “No-Bake ‘Food Storage’ Granola Bars” from Andrea at Pennies & Pancakes, I knew I found a winner.  I have all of the ingredients in my cupboard and it only involves melting things in a pot, mixing, and spreading in a jelly roll pan!  The hardest part of the recipe for me was waiting for it to come to room temperature before I ate it!  For the record, I ate a good chunk of it before I could cut it into bars...it was yummy!

Yep, it was too tasty to wait...

There is nothing fancy about this granola bar, which is the beauty of it.  It is inexpensive, easy to make, and delicious.  Beautiful.

She said to add the chocolate chips on top, so I said, "Why not mix them in?"

My necessities for the baby

There are so many things that a new mom can get, which is sometimes overwhelming and for sure cluttering.  Here's my list for things that I actually used in the first few months.  

Crib

(Somewhere to sleep.  I chose to start Emmett in the crib right away, so I could sleep without hearing all the noises babies make.  It was a bit of a battle, but very worthwhile to me.)

Crib sheets

(A couple, as babies can pee a lot, spit up, or poop while they're in the crib)

Pack-n-play

(If you will be traveling or your baby will be sleeping elsewhere, this is so helpful, especially when baby starts being more mobile.  Emmett slept on beds elsewhere sometimes, but can no longer, as he's now a mover!)

Sleep Sacks 

(For swaddling newborn-I used these for the first month or so, but so helpful!  The swaddling helped so baby didn't smack himself with his flailing arms and wake himself up.)

Onesies 

(white and fun ones)

Sleepers 

(and other footies for the daytime and warmer nights-Emmett wears these the most out of all his clothing options, it’s nice to have his feet covered and he kicks off socks so often)

Diapers/wipes

(We used disposables for the first bit, now we use pocket and all-in-one cloth diapers during the day and a good disposable for over night--12 hours of sleep makes for a super wet diaper!)

Diaper bag

(gotta have some type of bag for extra diapers and clothing changes for blowouts and toys and other things needed to carry around)

Car seat

(can’t leave the hospital without this one!  I like that ours goes up to 30 pounds, as Emmett was 18.5lbs at 6 months...)

Swing/bouncer

(great for when arms get tired or doing something that needs 2 hands, some kids don’t love these things, but Emmett did fine in them)

"Look at these cool TOYS, mom!"

Stroller

(Not totally a necessity I guess, but I liked having it for walks or going somewhere that I didn't want to be carrying the car seat or baby the whole time.)

Carrier

(Nice for going out when you don’t want to put the baby in the stroller while out or getting stuff done around the house)

Changing table

(or just a clean area for diaper changes.  We have Libby, so I preferred an actual table.)

Baby bathtub

(Keeps baby in one place and uses less water than the whole tub.  Babies don't need to bathe that often, so you could just hold baby in the sink or something too.)

Blanket

(for obvious reasons and uses-and for tummy time, as floors can be hard/dirty)

Burp rags

(Emmett was a spit-up-er, so these were needed to keep clothes somewhat clean)

Bottle

(Sometimes mom needs to leave the house or sleep, someone else can give baby a bottle.  We were advised not to give a bottle or pacifier before 1 month, to establish breast-feeding.)

Minimal amount of toys

(Emmett didn’t seem all that interested in toys until around 3-4 months, and especially when his gums started getting primed for teeth.  He doesn’t need a ton of options right now, as he doesn’t get bored with toys yet.)

Books

(Always good to read to a baby, helps with later education and building the brain.)

Things that I didn't have or didn't use:

Wipe warmer

(his little bottom got used to being wiped with a room temperature wipe real quickly)

Boppy pillow

(I thought that I was going to use this a lot, but found I didn't need it at all.  We sometimes use it while Emmett is awake, but less than 10 times in 6 months.)

The surplus of toys

(Everything is new to a baby, so the toys are a bit unnecessary.  We have a few, but didn't need a ton.)

Privacy cover for feeding

(A blanket worked fine, most of the time I didn't want to cover his face.)

All the cute newborn outfits

(Let's be real, I had Emmett in footies and sleepers unless we went somewhere.  It was just easier, since he woke up if a sock came off, and he was sleeping so much!)

Play mat

(Emmett is super content on a blanket, so the play mat didn't get used much.)

Bumbo chair

(I liked holding Emmett in a sitting position or having him on the floor for tummy time.  We now have borrowed one from a friend and Emmett's thighs are too big!  No biggie, as he's learning to sit up on his own now.)

Things always to say to pregnant women/new moms:

There were some comments that people said during my pregnancy and new motherhood that should be repeated to every pregnant woman and new mom.  These comments are encouraging, which is the place we want to stay when talking to someone so doped up on hormones!  Ha! 

“You look great!”

-This is always a good one, especially needed when feeling huge or after having the baby and not getting enough sleep.

“You are going to be such a good mother.”

-Most pregnant women are questioning whether or not they are going to be a good mom, this reassuring comment is wonderful.

“How are you feeling?”

-It’s nice to know someone cares about you.

“Is there anything I can do/get for you?”

-If you have suggestions (get you water, put something away, make a meal, buy something), that’s even better.

“You’ve lost the weight so fast!” 

-I loved when people noticed this, it made me feel more back-to-normal.  It’s nice to hear, even when you know it’s just been a few pounds.  Someone else noticing this is so uplifting.  Another variation, “I can’t believe you had a baby!  You look so good!”

“Can I get the door for you?”

-Always a nice one.  Sometimes maneuvering a big belly or diaper bag/car seat is difficult, not having to worry about opening the door is such a help.

“Your baby is beautiful.”

-Who doesn’t want to hear that something they made is beautiful?

“You are a great mom.”

-One of the highest compliments I have received (yes, I tear up every time).  It is also reassuring at times when I feel like a mess and that I don’t know what I’m doing.  Compare it to telling someone they are good at their job, when their job is one of the most important things to them.

Baby Wise Review

On Becoming Babywise:  Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

by Gary Ezzo, M.A. and Robert Bucknam, M.D.

-This is most definitely a must read for moms.  It gives practical routines and focuses on parent-directed feeding.  This is somewhat in contrast to attachment parenting.  I believe that parents have to make their own decisions on how they want to raise their kids and what that looks like for them.

For me, PDF was a huge blessing.  I enjoy having a routine and a schedule, knowing what is coming next.  Following the “guidelines” from this book allowed Emmett to figure out how to sleep extended periods at night at a young age.  By 8 weeks, he was sleeping a minimum of 8 hours a night, most longer.  That amount extended quickly.  At 12 weeks, he was sleeping 12 hours at night, 8pm-8am.  He woke up happy.

One important point is the rhythm of the feed/wake/sleep cycle.  Awake time happens in between the feeding and going down for sleep.  I sometimes found this difficult with Emmett when he was just a few weeks old, as it was hard to keep him awake during the feeding, let alone after it!  It has definitely worked to our advantage since then.

Another important point of this book is to establish a wake up time.  I didn’t understand why this was important, but I think it starts the predictability of the day.  The book says, “It will help organize your baby’s feed/wake/sleep cycles during the day enabling you to plan ahead.”  The day has a predictable rhythm to it.

Another favorite point is that if the baby wakes up at the same time during the overnight, they might be waking up out of habit, not hunger.  Once we figured this out, we gave Emmett a little more time before we went in and he ended up going back to sleep for the rest of the night!

This is my favorite feed/sleep book.

Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman:

Sometimes people aren't thinking, sometimes they are just plain rude.  Here's a small list of things to avoid saying to a pregnant woman, some of which were said to me, some of which I was scared someone would say to me, and things I've heard said to other people.  Apparently common sense is lost on some...

“You’re so much bigger than the last time I saw you!”

-If one more person would have said that to me, I was going to come back with, “So have you!” and see how that would go.  Lucky for others, no one said it after I thought of that.

"Wow, you're showing really early!"

-Um, hello.  Why don't you just call her fat and get it over with?  Saying "You have a cute baby bump" is okay, but wait until it's really out there.

"I didn't have to wear maternity clothes until I was 6 months pregnant, you're wearing them already?"

-Yeah, I don't think that lady was thinking.  It wasn't said to me, but that didn't mean that I didn't want to tell her off for my friend!  And, anyway, maternity clothes are super comfortable, it's like wearing sweatpants but everyone thinks you're wearing jeans.  Beautiful.

“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”

-Don’t you think she would have found that out by 30 weeks?!  You’re just telling her that she is really big, which isn’t awesome to hear when you’re feeling like a giant blimp anyway.

“You look like you’re going to pop!”

-Again with the whole “you’re huge” issue.  She probably wishes that the baby was out by now if she’s that big.  Don’t make it worse by pointing that out.

“You still haven’t had the baby?!” (after the due date)

-Hormones, uncomfortable-ness, pain from carrying so much weight, thanks for pointing out that obvious thing.  Just ask how she’s feeling and if there’s anything you can do for her instead.

“You’re really carrying the weight well!”

-Is that supposed to be a compliment or are you just saying that I’m really fat?

“I’m too much of a planner to not find out the sex.” or any other opinions about not finding out the sex

-What I’m hearing is that because I don’t find out the sex, I’m not really planning for my baby.  I really am planning, but I want to experience this surprise in life.  It was awesome to find out what sex my baby was after he was born.  Awesome.  

If you want to tell me that you are a control freak and need to micromanage your planning, that’s fine.

“Oh, I have bad memories with someone with that name.” or any other opinions that are not positive about names

-We didn’t share any name options because of this (and it was another part of the surprise).  The only exception is if you are really close to this pregnant lady and she genuinely wants your opinion.  Even then, tread lightly.

Yep, I was big, but you didn't need to tell me that!

The Real Deal Guide To Pregnancy

The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy : fresh and practical advice for navigating the next nine months 

by Erika Lenkert

I read this book before we even started trying to get pregnant.  It was a fast read, as it reads more like a girlfriend talking with you.  I think it gave real information about what happens during pregnancy, physical and emotional.  

This book sets up the expectations for pregnancy to a realistic standard.  Even the easiest pregnancies can have weird happenings.  After reading this book, it’s nice to see that some things I thought were odd were semi-normal things.

This was the main book I read about pregnancy, as sometimes too much information is overwhelming and causes more stress than needed.  This book had just enough information that I felt informed, but not anxious about what would be happening to me.

Blog post the first!

I became a mom officially on September 1st, 2012.  My parenting journey started long before that date though.

I have been an aunt since 2004.  We've gained 5 more kids since then with 2 more coming this year, making 8 nieces/nephews total.  I have been observing moms pretty intensely since before the first.  I am always looking for ideas that I like and that I don't like.  Things I want to use with my kids and things that I don't.  I haven't just observed my sisters-in-law, I've been watching my friends, my mom, my mother-in-law, random ladies out and about.  I am fascinated by the different ways that woman choose to mother.  None are "right" or "wrong," but they are all slightly (or greatly) different.

I also read a lot of books.  I like to get different perspectives on subjects and as much info as I can consume.  Sometimes I have issues come up (like why won't Emmett take naps longer than 45 minutes), so I head to the library website for any and all books on the matter.  I also go to any resources I have, mom, mother-in-law, family, friends for any advice.  I enjoy learning and solving problems.

I am not a writer.  This blog came about because as I talk with friends they tell me I need a place for others to glean from my experience.  I will be writing about my different observations, my thoughts on books I read, and life happenings I want to record somewhere.  Enjoy!