Sippy Cups book review

Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom

by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

This book is kind of a blog with binding.  It is a collection of short essays, just a few pages, and is not a parenting book.  She is a little crass at times, but it was a fun read.  My favorite part came about halfway through:

“It’s true what the books say.  All babies are on their own time lines.  Maybe your one-year-old isn’t thinking about walking because he’s figuring out difficult mathematical equations in his little head.  Maybe your baby walks at nine months but won’t utter a word until she’s six.

“It’s not a race.  If your baby is an early walker, it means that you have to childproof faster.  If they’re talking early, it means listening to an extra six months of gibberish.  Enjoy the quiet while you still can” (page106).

I think babies grow up too fast anyway, no need to push them.  This book is a good read for people who like reading biographies and memoirs or need a break from the how-to books.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child review

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

by Marc Weissbluth

I used this in addition to BabyWise and it complemented pretty well.  It didn’t talk about feeding times, but it gave me helpful information about sleeping.  It has been handy as Emmett gets older and different questions come up.

This book talks a lot about early bedtimes.  I agree and have found this to be true.  Emmett sleeps 12 hours because he is able to go to bed at 8pm.  

A quote from the book is “Sleep begets sleep.”  I thought that sounded a little off, but I have noticed that when Emmett has a good night of sleeping and a good morning nap, his afternoon and evening naps are pretty great as well.  He sleeps between 15-17 hours in a 24 hour period.  

I liked this book a lot, but it didn't talk much about feeding times like BabyWise did.  I enjoyed having more of a schedule to keep things a little predictable for me.  I also like that it shows what might be happening with sleep at different ages.  I can look ahead to the next stage and see when about it will take place.  Good book, keep a copy close by.

No Need to Rush

I read once about a mom who was bringing up her last baby.  She wanted to savor everything and not rush the milestones along.

I want to savor everything with Emmett, because if we have more children, I will not have the time to.

I don’t feel that Emmett needs to achieve all the milestones ahead of every other baby around.  He will reach them at some point.  How many adults do you see (who don’t have a disability) that are just army crawling around everywhere?  I would like for this baby stage to last awhile, as when it is past, I don’t get it again with Emmett.  So I just give Emmett tummy time (which he really seems to enjoy) without the pressure of needing to roll over by 4 months or start crawling by 6 months.

Emmett rolled over for the first time at just over 5 months.  His top half went to the side, where it stayed for about a minute while he was jabbering, then his bottom half went over.  He looked mildly surprised and slightly amused that he was now looking at the ceiling fan.  I did the mom-cheerleader thing and clapped for him and said “Good job, Buddy!”  Then we went on playing.  It took him another week to do it again.  I didn’t mind at all.

Sometimes when I’m talking to others, I get caught up in the competition of “my kid is better than your kid.”  Then I think about how I am approaching Emmett’s growing up.  Good for your child that he rolled over at 3 1/2 months.  Reaching these milestones doesn’t have to be a reflection on what kind of parent I am.  Some kids roll over out of frustration at 2 months because they hate tummy time, while Emmett was chilling during tummy time for 20 minutes while he was 5 months old!  He just seemed to enjoy looking around from that view, content to be able to see things other than the ceiling!  Really, how can that reflect who I am as his parent?

I do brag about what a great night-sleeper Emmett is, as I was so excited to get to sleep through the night so quickly after having him.  He was sleeping 11 hours per night at 2 months, 12 hours per night at 3 months.  He’s great.

Sometimes people who have worked for kids to sleep through the night or go through other milestones quickly have opinions that they feel they must share.  I was talking with an extended family member and he asked how sleeping was going.  I said 12 hours a night!  He thought I was joking, as his one-year-old still wasn’t sleeping through the night.  We might have talked about letting them cry a little bit overnight, but I realized something.  The way others want to parent is the way they want to parent, the way they chose to parent.  They don’t need someone coming in to tell them how to do it, just as I don't need it.  What is right for me is not always right for others.

Sometimes people will ask for advice or wonder how it happened for us, that is the time it is appropriate to talk about it.  Unsolicited advice can sometimes come across as “You don’t know what you’re doing, so let me tell you how to do it right.”  That is not helpful for a parent.  There are already doubts going on in their head (especially when the milestone isn’t happening at the “right” time), they don’t need someone coming in to confirm it.

Show confidence in others by leaving your thoughts in your head, instead of coming across as that person who is a “know-it-all” but no one wants to be around.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”  I'm really trying to savor the time I have while Emmett is just a little baby, as I know that all too soon he will be grown up and I won't get these times back.

Live in the moment, capture some of them on camera!

I Was A Really Good Mom Review

I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids

by Trisha Ashworth

This book is nothing like I thought it would be.  I thought it was going to be about how women without kids judge women with kids until they have their own, when everything they once judged becomes their norm.

Instead, I’ve found wisdom in what I have been thinking and feeling.  Sometimes I feel like I have certain expectations to live up to.  Turns out, other moms have felt these high expectations.  What a relief!

As I read this book, I got more and more confidence that I am doing a good job being a mom.  I'm not the only one who stresses out because I'm stressing out over the baby.  Many of the experiences I was having as a new mom, someone had gone before me and felt the same way I did through it.  The smiles and giggles from my Emmett increase that confidence as well.

I will also say that since reading this book, either Emmett has gotten easier (let's be serious, he's super easy, so it must not be that he has gotten easier) or I have found myself less stressed out about things that used to bother me.  I give myself freedom to not get stressed out, to take a breath when I need to.

I encourage women who are not moms yet to read this so they can set reasonable expectations and see what may happen later on to be prepared.  I also encourage moms at any stage to read this and find out that you are, in fact, normal.  What a freeing book.

Favorite Nap Book

The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program-Follow Your Child’s Natural Sleep Rhythms for Better Nights and Naps

by Polly Moore, Ph.D.

Emmett has been a nighttime sleep champ since just a couple weeks old, and sleeping 12 hours/night since just before 3 months old.  His napping story has been very different.  There were times when his nap would only be 45 minutes and there would be times when his nap would be 3 hours!  I was getting frustrated with the lack of rhythm and predictability of his naps.  For a time, his naps would last for 45 minutes and he would wake up crying, pretty hard.  I knew this meant that he did not sleep long enough, but he wasn't falling back asleep either.  I knew I needed to do something different to get his nap-sleep rhythms regular.  I tried keeping him awake for longer periods, shorter periods, waiting for sleepy signs...uff da.

This book is based on the biological rhythm called the basic rest and activity cycle (BRAC) that lasts about 90 minutes.   So in between naps, the awake time should be about 90 minutes.  Once knowing this, we began trying to follow it.  It was interesting to observe Emmett, that when it was about 75 minutes, he started showing signs of being tired.  By 90 minutes, and with just a little soothing, he would fall asleep in his crib in less than a minute.  He also napped for longer periods of time!

Deep slumber during a nap

The plan is pretty simple (page 38):

N: Note the time of your baby’s last waking.

A: Add 90 minutes.

P: Play, feed, and pursue other activities with your baby.

S: Soothe your baby to sleep.

It’s so simple.  I’m somewhat of a nerd, so being able to track Emmett’s behavior and sleep patterns is kind of fun for me!  The book also has a lot of information on why sleep is important for the brain and sleep research.

I recommend this book for all mothers/fathers/caregivers.  It puts into perspective how and why babies sleep so much in the first year.  The book is geared toward babies 2 weeks to 1 year old.  I wish I had found this book earlier, it has been so helpful.

Yummy Granola Bars I made!

I really like granola bars for a quick snack or a take-along-in-case-I-get-hungry snack.  Even though I buy mine at Aldi and it doesn’t seem like they are that bad for me, I’ve been looking for a recipe for a more “natural” granola bar that is cheap to make.  

Many times I am intimidated by fancy recipes that have 17 steps and ingredients that I have never heard of.  That said, I haven’t tried to make any of the recipes I have seen.  When I saw the recipe for “No-Bake ‘Food Storage’ Granola Bars” from Andrea at Pennies & Pancakes, I knew I found a winner.  I have all of the ingredients in my cupboard and it only involves melting things in a pot, mixing, and spreading in a jelly roll pan!  The hardest part of the recipe for me was waiting for it to come to room temperature before I ate it!  For the record, I ate a good chunk of it before I could cut it into bars...it was yummy!

Yep, it was too tasty to wait...

There is nothing fancy about this granola bar, which is the beauty of it.  It is inexpensive, easy to make, and delicious.  Beautiful.

She said to add the chocolate chips on top, so I said, "Why not mix them in?"

My necessities for the baby

There are so many things that a new mom can get, which is sometimes overwhelming and for sure cluttering.  Here's my list for things that I actually used in the first few months.  

Crib

(Somewhere to sleep.  I chose to start Emmett in the crib right away, so I could sleep without hearing all the noises babies make.  It was a bit of a battle, but very worthwhile to me.)

Crib sheets

(A couple, as babies can pee a lot, spit up, or poop while they're in the crib)

Pack-n-play

(If you will be traveling or your baby will be sleeping elsewhere, this is so helpful, especially when baby starts being more mobile.  Emmett slept on beds elsewhere sometimes, but can no longer, as he's now a mover!)

Sleep Sacks 

(For swaddling newborn-I used these for the first month or so, but so helpful!  The swaddling helped so baby didn't smack himself with his flailing arms and wake himself up.)

Onesies 

(white and fun ones)

Sleepers 

(and other footies for the daytime and warmer nights-Emmett wears these the most out of all his clothing options, it’s nice to have his feet covered and he kicks off socks so often)

Diapers/wipes

(We used disposables for the first bit, now we use pocket and all-in-one cloth diapers during the day and a good disposable for over night--12 hours of sleep makes for a super wet diaper!)

Diaper bag

(gotta have some type of bag for extra diapers and clothing changes for blowouts and toys and other things needed to carry around)

Car seat

(can’t leave the hospital without this one!  I like that ours goes up to 30 pounds, as Emmett was 18.5lbs at 6 months...)

Swing/bouncer

(great for when arms get tired or doing something that needs 2 hands, some kids don’t love these things, but Emmett did fine in them)

"Look at these cool TOYS, mom!"

Stroller

(Not totally a necessity I guess, but I liked having it for walks or going somewhere that I didn't want to be carrying the car seat or baby the whole time.)

Carrier

(Nice for going out when you don’t want to put the baby in the stroller while out or getting stuff done around the house)

Changing table

(or just a clean area for diaper changes.  We have Libby, so I preferred an actual table.)

Baby bathtub

(Keeps baby in one place and uses less water than the whole tub.  Babies don't need to bathe that often, so you could just hold baby in the sink or something too.)

Blanket

(for obvious reasons and uses-and for tummy time, as floors can be hard/dirty)

Burp rags

(Emmett was a spit-up-er, so these were needed to keep clothes somewhat clean)

Bottle

(Sometimes mom needs to leave the house or sleep, someone else can give baby a bottle.  We were advised not to give a bottle or pacifier before 1 month, to establish breast-feeding.)

Minimal amount of toys

(Emmett didn’t seem all that interested in toys until around 3-4 months, and especially when his gums started getting primed for teeth.  He doesn’t need a ton of options right now, as he doesn’t get bored with toys yet.)

Books

(Always good to read to a baby, helps with later education and building the brain.)

Things that I didn't have or didn't use:

Wipe warmer

(his little bottom got used to being wiped with a room temperature wipe real quickly)

Boppy pillow

(I thought that I was going to use this a lot, but found I didn't need it at all.  We sometimes use it while Emmett is awake, but less than 10 times in 6 months.)

The surplus of toys

(Everything is new to a baby, so the toys are a bit unnecessary.  We have a few, but didn't need a ton.)

Privacy cover for feeding

(A blanket worked fine, most of the time I didn't want to cover his face.)

All the cute newborn outfits

(Let's be real, I had Emmett in footies and sleepers unless we went somewhere.  It was just easier, since he woke up if a sock came off, and he was sleeping so much!)

Play mat

(Emmett is super content on a blanket, so the play mat didn't get used much.)

Bumbo chair

(I liked holding Emmett in a sitting position or having him on the floor for tummy time.  We now have borrowed one from a friend and Emmett's thighs are too big!  No biggie, as he's learning to sit up on his own now.)

Things always to say to pregnant women/new moms:

There were some comments that people said during my pregnancy and new motherhood that should be repeated to every pregnant woman and new mom.  These comments are encouraging, which is the place we want to stay when talking to someone so doped up on hormones!  Ha! 

“You look great!”

-This is always a good one, especially needed when feeling huge or after having the baby and not getting enough sleep.

“You are going to be such a good mother.”

-Most pregnant women are questioning whether or not they are going to be a good mom, this reassuring comment is wonderful.

“How are you feeling?”

-It’s nice to know someone cares about you.

“Is there anything I can do/get for you?”

-If you have suggestions (get you water, put something away, make a meal, buy something), that’s even better.

“You’ve lost the weight so fast!” 

-I loved when people noticed this, it made me feel more back-to-normal.  It’s nice to hear, even when you know it’s just been a few pounds.  Someone else noticing this is so uplifting.  Another variation, “I can’t believe you had a baby!  You look so good!”

“Can I get the door for you?”

-Always a nice one.  Sometimes maneuvering a big belly or diaper bag/car seat is difficult, not having to worry about opening the door is such a help.

“Your baby is beautiful.”

-Who doesn’t want to hear that something they made is beautiful?

“You are a great mom.”

-One of the highest compliments I have received (yes, I tear up every time).  It is also reassuring at times when I feel like a mess and that I don’t know what I’m doing.  Compare it to telling someone they are good at their job, when their job is one of the most important things to them.

Baby Wise Review

On Becoming Babywise:  Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

by Gary Ezzo, M.A. and Robert Bucknam, M.D.

-This is most definitely a must read for moms.  It gives practical routines and focuses on parent-directed feeding.  This is somewhat in contrast to attachment parenting.  I believe that parents have to make their own decisions on how they want to raise their kids and what that looks like for them.

For me, PDF was a huge blessing.  I enjoy having a routine and a schedule, knowing what is coming next.  Following the “guidelines” from this book allowed Emmett to figure out how to sleep extended periods at night at a young age.  By 8 weeks, he was sleeping a minimum of 8 hours a night, most longer.  That amount extended quickly.  At 12 weeks, he was sleeping 12 hours at night, 8pm-8am.  He woke up happy.

One important point is the rhythm of the feed/wake/sleep cycle.  Awake time happens in between the feeding and going down for sleep.  I sometimes found this difficult with Emmett when he was just a few weeks old, as it was hard to keep him awake during the feeding, let alone after it!  It has definitely worked to our advantage since then.

Another important point of this book is to establish a wake up time.  I didn’t understand why this was important, but I think it starts the predictability of the day.  The book says, “It will help organize your baby’s feed/wake/sleep cycles during the day enabling you to plan ahead.”  The day has a predictable rhythm to it.

Another favorite point is that if the baby wakes up at the same time during the overnight, they might be waking up out of habit, not hunger.  Once we figured this out, we gave Emmett a little more time before we went in and he ended up going back to sleep for the rest of the night!

This is my favorite feed/sleep book.

Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman:

Sometimes people aren't thinking, sometimes they are just plain rude.  Here's a small list of things to avoid saying to a pregnant woman, some of which were said to me, some of which I was scared someone would say to me, and things I've heard said to other people.  Apparently common sense is lost on some...

“You’re so much bigger than the last time I saw you!”

-If one more person would have said that to me, I was going to come back with, “So have you!” and see how that would go.  Lucky for others, no one said it after I thought of that.

"Wow, you're showing really early!"

-Um, hello.  Why don't you just call her fat and get it over with?  Saying "You have a cute baby bump" is okay, but wait until it's really out there.

"I didn't have to wear maternity clothes until I was 6 months pregnant, you're wearing them already?"

-Yeah, I don't think that lady was thinking.  It wasn't said to me, but that didn't mean that I didn't want to tell her off for my friend!  And, anyway, maternity clothes are super comfortable, it's like wearing sweatpants but everyone thinks you're wearing jeans.  Beautiful.

“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”

-Don’t you think she would have found that out by 30 weeks?!  You’re just telling her that she is really big, which isn’t awesome to hear when you’re feeling like a giant blimp anyway.

“You look like you’re going to pop!”

-Again with the whole “you’re huge” issue.  She probably wishes that the baby was out by now if she’s that big.  Don’t make it worse by pointing that out.

“You still haven’t had the baby?!” (after the due date)

-Hormones, uncomfortable-ness, pain from carrying so much weight, thanks for pointing out that obvious thing.  Just ask how she’s feeling and if there’s anything you can do for her instead.

“You’re really carrying the weight well!”

-Is that supposed to be a compliment or are you just saying that I’m really fat?

“I’m too much of a planner to not find out the sex.” or any other opinions about not finding out the sex

-What I’m hearing is that because I don’t find out the sex, I’m not really planning for my baby.  I really am planning, but I want to experience this surprise in life.  It was awesome to find out what sex my baby was after he was born.  Awesome.  

If you want to tell me that you are a control freak and need to micromanage your planning, that’s fine.

“Oh, I have bad memories with someone with that name.” or any other opinions that are not positive about names

-We didn’t share any name options because of this (and it was another part of the surprise).  The only exception is if you are really close to this pregnant lady and she genuinely wants your opinion.  Even then, tread lightly.

Yep, I was big, but you didn't need to tell me that!

The Real Deal Guide To Pregnancy

The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy : fresh and practical advice for navigating the next nine months 

by Erika Lenkert

I read this book before we even started trying to get pregnant.  It was a fast read, as it reads more like a girlfriend talking with you.  I think it gave real information about what happens during pregnancy, physical and emotional.  

This book sets up the expectations for pregnancy to a realistic standard.  Even the easiest pregnancies can have weird happenings.  After reading this book, it’s nice to see that some things I thought were odd were semi-normal things.

This was the main book I read about pregnancy, as sometimes too much information is overwhelming and causes more stress than needed.  This book had just enough information that I felt informed, but not anxious about what would be happening to me.

Blog post the first!

I became a mom officially on September 1st, 2012.  My parenting journey started long before that date though.

I have been an aunt since 2004.  We've gained 5 more kids since then with 2 more coming this year, making 8 nieces/nephews total.  I have been observing moms pretty intensely since before the first.  I am always looking for ideas that I like and that I don't like.  Things I want to use with my kids and things that I don't.  I haven't just observed my sisters-in-law, I've been watching my friends, my mom, my mother-in-law, random ladies out and about.  I am fascinated by the different ways that woman choose to mother.  None are "right" or "wrong," but they are all slightly (or greatly) different.

I also read a lot of books.  I like to get different perspectives on subjects and as much info as I can consume.  Sometimes I have issues come up (like why won't Emmett take naps longer than 45 minutes), so I head to the library website for any and all books on the matter.  I also go to any resources I have, mom, mother-in-law, family, friends for any advice.  I enjoy learning and solving problems.

I am not a writer.  This blog came about because as I talk with friends they tell me I need a place for others to glean from my experience.  I will be writing about my different observations, my thoughts on books I read, and life happenings I want to record somewhere.  Enjoy!